I just wanted them to stop wittering at me, eat vegetables without complaining, let me go to the loo in peace and learn to make a decent gin and tonic. It genuinely never occurred to me when they were little that this would ever end – an eternity of Teletubbies and Duplo and In The Night Bastarding Garden and screaming, never an end in sight. But now there is. And despite the busybody old women who used to pop up whenever I was having a bad day and tell me I would miss these days when they were over, I don’t miss those days at all. I have literally never stood wistfully in the supermarket and thought ‘Oh, how I wish someone was trailing behind me constantly whining ‘Mummy, can I have, Mummy can I have?’ while another precious moppet tries to climb out the trolley so they land on their head and we end up in A&E. Again.
Mummy has been a wife and mother for so long that she’s a little bit lost. And despite her best efforts, her precious moppets still don’t know the location of the laundry basket, the difference between being bored and being hungry, or that saying ‘I can’t find it Mummy’ is not the same as actually looking for it.
Amidst the chaos of A-Levels and driving tests, she’s doing her best to keep her family afloat, even if everybody is set on drifting off in different directions, and that one of those directions is to make yet another bloody snack. She’s feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated, and the only thing that Mummy knows for sure is that the bigger the kids, the bigger the drink.
If you are after a hilarious and laugh out loud read then this is the book for you, I loved it, definitely in my top ten books of this year. I loved the first three in the series and this is the fourth and final why mummy books. It will be a shame to see the end of them as they are just brilliant but I am excited to see what Gill writes about next. Everything that happens in this book is amusing, I do feel for Mummy but I just can’t help laughing what she says and does.You don’t have to be a mum to read this story, I am not yet and still find the stories amusing. Some of the stuff with the kids reminds me when I was a teenager and what my mum had to put up with me. This is a book I would reread many times if I need cheering up. Absolutely brilliant.
I received an ARC copy of this book for an honest review.
Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns.
Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight – a dragon badger or a ninja horse – they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts – except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours.
And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.
After having read the other two books before this, I couldn’t wait to dive straight back in and see how Ellen was getting on. These books are not just for mums to read, and they really are laugh out loud stories. You couldn’t make them up if you tried. These books are highly addictive and I am already looking forward to the next instalment.
I received an ARC copy of this book for an honest review.
It is Mummy’s 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel of a future of people asking if she wants to come to their advanced yoga classes, and polite book clubs where everyone claims to be tiddly after a glass of Pinot Grigio and says things like ‘Oooh gosh, are you having another glass?’
But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’ and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring’s extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays.
Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering ‘FML’ over and over again. Until she remembers the gem of an idea she’s had…
If you are after a really funny book this is the one for you. I took this book on holiday with me and got some really funny looks for laughing, but I did manage to recommend it to a few women too. This is the first book and the second book why mummy swears is just as hilarious, as I said about why mummy swears you don’t have to be a mum to understand what mummy goes through. I am already looking forward to the next book, this one really cheered me up. Loved it.
Why Mummy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mummy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.
It’s every parents’ nightmare – the start of the school holidays – and instead of sitting in the sun, reading a book over a cold, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio, Mummy has two bored moppets to attend to. After frantically booking sports camps, child minder slots, not to mention time off work, Mummy is exhausted. But this is only the beginning…
After being dragged to join the school’s PTA in the new term by an annoyingly kind-spirited neighbour, Mummy is stuck with organising the Christmas Fayre and pleasing all the overly disapproving parents. In combination with getting to know her father’s surprise new glamorous (and much younger) wife, and being forced to spend more time with her narcissistic mother, life isn’t cutting her much of a break. What more could possibly happen?
This is a seriously laugh out loud a minute book. It had me in stitches, even if your not a mum you are sure to relate like I did. I am yet to read why mummy drinks but I certainly want to read it. I love the relationship that mummy has with her husband, my husband is certainly nowhere near as bad as this one was but there are certain traits that seem familiar. A really funny book that will have you in stitches.
I received an ARC copy of this book for an honest review. I also received a swear jar. I think my husband would put it to better use than me. hehe!!